Motherhood Monday {Reflecting on 33 Years}

Yesterday I turned 33.  Gosh that sounds old.  I remember being in my teens and if I met a 33-year-old??  Man, I thought that was forever away.  A person in their 30s just seemed so grown-up and far-off to me.  I babysat a lot in college, and most of the moms I sat for were right around that age.  Some were cooler than the others (wore cute clothes, had girls’ night out, drove cool SUV’s, went on fun dates with their husbands, attended concerts and listened to current music), but I still remember thinking they were so much older than me.  Being in my 30s seemed ages away…I really didn’t even think about it.  Now here I am.  I am (hopefully one of those cool) moms.  We have babysitters at our house often.  They are all precious and sweet, and most importantly, so good to my child.  And young.  At least younger than me by several years.  I wonder what they think about me?  Do they think I am the “cool mom”?  The mom that still dresses hip, has stylish makeup and a cute haircut, has fun with her husband and friends, has a good collection of current movies and music and yummy snacks, and just seems to have it together?  If I were 21 and coming to my house to keep my kid, what would I see and think of myself at 33?

Sometimes I can’t believe I am the mother to a 19 (almost 20) month old. Do you ever stop for a second and think, “Am I really a mom? Is this really my life? Am I really old enough for this?” I swear this happens to me regularly. Motherhood still, 19+ months into it, seems somewhat surreal. Heck, being (cough, cough) 33 seems surreal. (No joke, I just had to subtract 1981 from 2014 to confirm that I am in fact 33. For some reason I always forget if I am 32 or 33, lol!). I still feel like I should be in my 20s, although it does feel like ages ago. I can’t believe how much has happened since then. How much I have changed. How much my life has changed. Honestly, out of the last 15 years, the most change has occurred in just the last 2’ish years. Even considering leaving home for college, marriage, moving to Birmingham, law school, career changes, moving again (and again and again) and random ups and downs, becoming a mother is hands down the biggest change I have EVER experienced. Where I am right now is like night and day from where I was even just two years ago. It’s so crazy.

Sometimes I still feel like I should be the babysitter…the one taking care of other women’s children.  Saving up my babysitting cash for that new pair of shoes, a cute new dress for going out, paying my credit card bill, a weekend getaway with friends, or let’s be honest, cocktail funds for the upcoming weekend.  Yet here I am.  Thirty-three, married, with a toddler, paying mortgages and car notes and life insurance and grocery bills, working full-time so I can pay for those things, watching Disney Junior, The Voice, Food Network and if we are feeling really wild and crazy, a movie off Netflix, counting down the weekdays until the sitter comes so I can have a few hours out with my husband on Saturday night.  I’ll wash and style my hair, shave my legs, put on some makeup, maybe a new top I just ordered online.  Matt and I will have plans to go to a fun restaurant, have some drinks, laugh and talk…for a couple hours I will just be “Leanne” and not necessarily “Mom.”  I’ll feel young, pretty, hip and pretty darn cool.  Maybe I am that “cool mom.”  Or has my version of a “cool mom” changed now that I’m living it myself.  Maybe I should just ask our sitter next time, ha!

Anyways….just some random thoughts about turning 33:-)  I did have a wonderful birthday.  Matt and I enjoyed dinner at Flemings on Saturday night with my parents.  Sunday my mom and I knocked out almost all of our Christmas shopping and then Sunday night we went back on parental duty and took #toddlerAW to Zoo Light Safari, which to be honest was the highlight of the weekend.  It was the perfect mix of grown-up fun and toddler fun.  It was perfect and I’m so grateful for this stage of life I’m in…messiness and all.

Here are some pictures from my birthday weekend if you would like to see….

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