I pray for you to just close your eyes, but then I miss you when you are sleeping.
I anxiously wait for the difficult phases to pass, yet I mourn every new stage we leave behind.
I hurry to the gym just so I can get a break, but then I skip over a lot of my workout so I can get home quicker.
I feel like screaming and pulling my hair out, yet I turn right around and give you a hug and say sorry for not being more patient.
I miss my reality shows, afternoon naps, weekly pedicures and quiet dinners in, but if truth be told, I’d much rather watch Mickey Mouse and read (the same) books (over and over) with you.
I couldn’t wait for you to sleep through the night, but now I often wake and wish you would cry out, needing me.
I hate how cluttered my house is all the time, but I love watching you pull out toys, play, learn and make messes.
I long for another baby, although I cannot fathom sharing part of my heart with another tiny human.
I look forward to the day when you are weaned (and I don’t have to drag my pump along on every overnight trip), but I get emotional if you seem uninterested in nursing one night.
I some times can’t wait to drop you off at the sitter in the mornings, and then I count down the minutes until I can pick you up.
I wish for you to sleep in later in the mornings, yet I stare at the monitor just waiting for you to wake up.
I am so excited when we go somewhere by ourselves, but then I think of all the things you would love about whatever we are doing, and I secretly want you to be there too.
I miss my freedom, but I cannot imagine life without you.
I dream about the future, yet my heart hurts just thinking about what has already come and gone.
Being your mom is the most challenging thing I have ever done, but I come back for more every single day.
Is motherhood not the most ironic thing ever??